Normally, when we tend to watch any one among us reacting to a situation in a cool way to inspires everyone around him and it can also be noticed that the person who tries to stay calm & stays calm some how figures out solution to any difficult problem which seems impossible for others associated with him.
It is pretty natural that staying calm & cool gives us an edge, but the question is how to stay cool is the question? And, with lot of ideas & thoughts crowded in the mind it is not so easy to focus, stay cool in spite of problem before us. Clarity in thought to stay assertive is one such technique to stay calm & cool.
Problem with being Assertive
I don’t know the key to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone. – Bill Cosby
There is one problem with being assertive and that is if a person is assertive then he gives equal value to both his rights and interests at the same time valuing the other person’s rights and interests which will be a little new to the people who got used to your old attitude which in most of the times is passive or passively aggressive.
And, Assertive attitude puts a little more pressure on your relationships than your intention to influence / inspire people who might even shock you due to the effect of your saying NO but it is an art to say NO & it becomes even more difficult say NO assertively. But, we learn some arts more easily by seeing than just listening or reading about them. This is one such instant which can help us easily understand how one can implement saying NO assertively (which sounds much like YES).
I have seen the above commercial ad on TV recently, it was for the promotion of a beverage. But, the advertisement was a superb example of staying assertive and handling a problem situation, let’s discuss how?
Watch the ad then we shall talk about it
What was the Problem?
A friend who relies on others for all his needs, he can’t be avoided as many indeed most of his friends aren’t good at saying NO that to assertively. So, he was taking advantage of their weakness.
As some bullies search for the weakness in others & use it to their advantage. This problem was troubling everyone & perhaps, everyone was either passive or passively aggressive with that person. And, the bullie was a tough skinned guy & had a let go kind of attitude when any responded aggressively or passive aggressively.
What was the Solution? Staying cool & Assertive
Then comes the turn of the hero (trouble-shooter – with a cool drink in the hand) who was Assertive in nature. Staying assertive one can conclude any problem in a WIN – WIN Situation. When the trouble maker arrived with a trouble (disguised as request) asking for our assertive hero’s bike, he used assertive response by bringing up a WIN – WIN agreement saying – In order to give his bike to the bully, the bully has to agree to take responsibility of all the maintenance, expenses, loan related work involved with the bike in an assertive tone.
As Brian Tracy says bullies flee away on confronting, similarly this bullie also flee away without taking the bike & saying never should a bike come between our friendship.
That’s it trouble was gone just with a cool & assertive response. Perhaps, it is very difficult to be assertive, because when we start being assertive we tend to stand up for our rights & interests while attending the opposite ones request during this process we tend to say more NO than a regular person which may have serious impact on our relationships with others if the NO isn’t sweet.
But, one can be assertive by looking at some examples, this is of one such kind.
Hope, You got a working & evident example to stay cool practicing Assertiveness
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