Brooding over your past mistakes does no good to you. Because mistakes are part of life or process when you are trying to do something which you are new at or haven’t done anytime before or at which you aren’t perfect yet.
So, if you keep thinking over and over again negatively (brooding) on the mistakes time and again then what you are really doing is looking at the road behind you and feeling bad instead of moving ahead and carrying the lesson which that mistake has taught you.
Accept your mistakes and the lessons they bring as well don’t blame others or even yourself for your mistakes what has happened has happened brooding, thinking about them alone over and over again would do no good to you.
It is easy to brood and blame
Two men look out a window. One sees stars, one sees mud – Oscar Wilde
If it does no good then why do we do them? because they are easy and we are habituated to both brooding over past mistakes and making a decent enough list of figuring out who is to blame for our mistakes and failure is pretty easy and you don’t have to spend any effort additionally for that.
There are two things to look out at when something fails, as the quote of Oscar Wilde says above, are you having a positive outlook to look at the stars instead of mud.
FAIL – First Attempt In Learning – APJ Abdul Kalam
Fear of failure
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything NEW. – Albert Einstein
We might have failed or made mistakes (both are synonyms one way) but to avoid more failures and mistakes and to satisfy a false ego (of not making any more mistakes) we tend to just brood and blame.
We know, it is very much better to try and fail as many times as possible than to stay at the same place worrying and avoiding future failures. Failures are pretty common and if you don’t try then we are a failure by default because you didn’t try at all.
For example, reaching a destination of 10 floors (100 steps to reach it) through staircase is a task and our pace is climbing one step each day and good probability of slipping (failing) 1 step for every 3 days then atleast one or the other day (in around 100 – 200 days) we can reach the destination though there is a probability of slippage if we consistently keep trying.
If we stop at the 1 step slippage and stop moving forward, we would lose the opportunity, (failure, in the beginning, doesn’t mean we’ll fail further as well,) if stop trying in the beginning itself and we might end up not even climbing one step. While a person who has agreed to or accepted to fail would end up climbing up at least all of them in 200 days (worst case scenario) while we hung up there in a false illusion to avoid failure.
Note: Real life is more different than the above scenario where at times our task and destination might be complex or simple and the scenario might not be so crystal clear (like climbing 200 of steps) but stories of successful people show that the more closer you get to your destination the clearer it would be. But, even for that to happen we have to start towards our destination with whatever we have in our hands right now else there is no hope of reaching our destination.
Which option should we choose either to brood, blame and quit or to try, accept failure coming in the path, bounce back up and try persistently until we reach our destination which we dreamed once of.
Replace Brooding with Analysis
We should definitely analyze our mistake and reason for failure else we would end up missing the important lesson which the mistake is teaching us. But, we shouldn’t end up doing endless analysis.
Else, there is a chance of Paralysis by Analysis. Discuss with your Friends, experts in your field for help, research on the internet about the similar situation then you would understand whether the issue or difficulty you are facing is part of a natural process of growing or is it something to be handled.
Relax… Give your best and leave the responsibility of fruits to Almighty. – Gita
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I am Surya, began blogging to share my thoughts, which I feel are useful with the world as I do it with my friends.